


The Love of a Brother

by F00PY



Series: Analogical Hogwarts [5]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Bullying, But the crushes they have for each other are obvious, Dick! Roman, Established friendships, Fighting, Gen, Genius! Logan, Gryffindor! Roman, Halloween, Harry-Potter verse, Hogwarts AU, Hurt Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Logan and Virgil don't get together, Logan wants to kill Roman, Magic, Peer Pressure, Ravenclaw! Logan, Ravenclaw! Virgil, Relapsing self-harm, Roman is Virgil's half-brother, Self-Harm, Sherlock-Like! Logan, Slytherin! Janus, They're both 12, barely edited, comfort at the end, mentions of child abuse, roman is a dick, this is second year
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:41:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27161963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/F00PY/pseuds/F00PY
Summary: “He’s not worth it,” Logan said conversationally.Virgil frowned.“You repeatedly give up things for him and he doesn’t do anything for you. In fact, he expects you to give up more. It’s appalling.”
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & A Bunch of Dicks, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: Analogical Hogwarts [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1954183
Comments: 13
Kudos: 192





	The Love of a Brother

Virgil wasn’t really sure how he was going to spend Halloween this year. 

Last year, he had spent it with Roman. Logan told him he wasn’t that interested in the holiday itself (which didn’t surprise Virgil in any way) and so Virgil had managed to guiltlessly (or mostly guiltlessly) leave his friend behind for his half-brother. 

Besides, it was a tradition. Roman and him always hung out during Halloween. It was the one day a year Virgil would allow himself to take a day off of work to spend time scaring kids twice his age and legally demanding candy from strangers. 

This of course had ended when Roman went to Hogwarts, but both of them had eagerly started it up again when Virgil had the luck to join him. They had promised to hang out with each other again next year. 

Virgil reached a hand up to bite into his finger and then slowly put it back down. 

That promise didn’t feel like it was going to be kept. 

Things between his half-brother and himself had already been slightly strained when Virgil wasn’t put in Gryffindor. Roman seemed to believe it was the only correct house. Plus, Roman had never really liked Logan. The genius kept showing him up in classes and pointedly knocking him down a peg whenever he got the chance. When Virgil wouldn’t cut things off with him, that also strained their relationship. Then, Virgil had the “audacity” to make friends with Janus, a pureblood Slytherin.

They might have been able to recover from that, had Ravenclaw not won the house cup, the Quidditch cup, and Virgil not beaten Roman grade-wise in every single class. 

Roman hadn’t talked to him all summer (to which Virgil was grateful. With everything his mother put him through, any conversation would’ve allowed Roman to see things Virgil had worked hard to keep hidden), and then clearly went out of his way to ignore him during the school year. 

Still, Virgil really wanted to spend Halloween with him. 

Logan glanced up from the book he was reading and looked the 12-year-old up and down. 

“He’s not worth it,” Logan said conversationally. 

Virgil frowned. 

“You repeatedly give up things for him and he doesn’t do anything for you. In fact, he expects you to give up more. It’s appalling.”

“He’s just an idiot.”

“No, he’s a self-centered idiot. That’s much worse.”

Virgil reached up to bite his hand again and just managed to keep it from entering his mouth. He placed it back on the table. 

“If you’re that invested in that moron, go talk to him,” Logan’s eyes were gentle, but his tone was sharp. “You’ll never get anywhere just sitting here.”

Virgil sighed. “But people.”

“Talk to him when he’s not around his Gryffindor friends. They’re unbearable anyway.”

A small snort fell from Virgil's lips. He found himself nodding along with it and leaning back in his chair. 

“Listening to his Quidditch friends is like listening to nails on a chalkboard if the nails were sexist and defined themselves by class.”

“Nails can’t be sexist. They’re inanimate.”

Virgil glared at him. The faintest smirk appeared on Logan’s face, but he was quick to wipe it off with innocent confusion. 

“Yes?”

With a loud sigh, Virgil stood up. “I hate you.”

“Falsehood.”

“And I’m going to talk to Roman.”

Logan nodded at that and turned back to his book. Quietly, Virgil made his way down the halls and over towards the Gryffindor common room, where he knew Roman would be leaving alone soon for one of his electives. 

There was a time limit, but Virgil dragged his feet anyway. His stomach curdled with each step and what was left is his rational thought frantically tried to come up with something to say. 

_Can we be friends again?_ sounded too desperate. Maybe _What are you being for Halloween?_

Roman would probably just tell him to fuck off…

Virgil came to a screeching halt as the Gryffindor came into view. Just before Roman could spot him, he leaped behind a pillar and peered out, trembling slightly. 

Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit.

They didn’t look related. That half- brother thing made a big difference. While Virgil was mixed, with a white mother and black father, Roman was fully black and at least four shades darker than Virgil. Their hair might’ve been the same color, had Roman not bleached and dyed his a vibrant bright red over the summer and while both of their eyes were brown, Virgils was a dark almost black color and Romans was near hazel. 

With a sharp breath, Virgil stepped out, raced up to Roman, and grabbed his arm. The Gryffindor jumped and turned dramatically until he realized who it was and his features hardened. 

“...hi.”

Roman ripped his arm out of Virgil's hand and stormed off. Without thinking, Virgil took off after him, reaching out grabbing the same arm. He forced him to turn and attempted to meet his gaze, which was pretty difficult considering Roman was a head taller than him and purposely looking over his head. 

Virgil grit his teeth. 

“Will you talk to me!?”

Not a good start. 

That being said, it worked. Roman glared down at him, finally meeting Virgil's eyes, and snarled, “Go away, Jerky Mc. Jerkinson.”

His main objective suddenly fell away. Virgil loosed a hiss and shoved Roman back. 

“You’re acting like a spoiled brat,” he growled at him. “I’m your brother-”

“Half-brother,” Roman said and Virgil saw red. 

“Well, thank god I’m not fully related to you.” Virgil stepped forward and shoved his middle finger in Romans' face. “I’d hate have gotten the self-centered trait. It would make me look like a huge _dick._ ”

Roman smacked the hand out of his face. Virgil flinched instinctively, and for a second, the Gryffindor looked sorry, almost worried. 

“Look, Virge, I-”

“Yo Ro, what's going on?”

No. 

No no no no no no no no no…

Roman looked up at the Gryffindor beaters, Terry and Jack. Both of them guffawed and shoved at each other when they noticed Virgil. 

“You hanging out with your loser Ravenclaw?”

“Come on,” Jack grinned, “he’s a second year. Let's go.”

“He has class,” Virgil told them, nails digging into the palm of his hands. “So why don’t you go back to smacking the last of your brain cells out of your head with your bats and leave us alone?”

“Oooooo!” Terry stepped forward. “Look at that! The Raven has teeth!”

“And the stupid fat lion had his removed,” Virgil spat back. 

Roman glanced between Virgil and his friends, clearly unhappy with the situation as a whole. He made a move to speak- to defend his brother or his friends Virgil didn’t know- but Jack spoke first.

“Man, you got _owned_ by that pipsqueak.”

Terry’s face was red, but he forced a laugh. “Yeah, well, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

Virgil rolled his eyes and turned back to Roman. “Let’s go to your class-”

“No can do, pipsqueak,” Jack called. “Ro needs to come practice with us! We have a game coming up!”

To Virgil's eternal shock, Roman didn’t hesitate in nodding and strolling over to his friends. 

“You got mad at me for beating you in classes and you don’t even attend yours?!” Virgil stared at him. “What did you expect?!”

Roman, who had been turning away, met Terry’s eyes. The beater raised his eyebrows and Roman turned back, face unreadable.

“I expected you to be a muggle. I expected you to get a life. I expected you to stop following me around and depending on me like some baby!” The words might’ve been spurred on by his friends, but Virgil could tell they were real and each one helped to further drive a knife in his heart. “You’re annoying to be around! But I stay with you anyway, because I’m your brother and you don’t know how to function without me, because when I'm not there, you make friends with rude people and Slytherins?! Everything you do is wrong Virgil! It’s Dark!”

Virgil flinched. 

“You’re acting like you’re a part of the Dark magic! You were always strange at home, but now you’re here, in my face, and you can finally use that darkness to be evil!”

“I’m not the one screaming like an ignorant brat,” Virgil said softly. 

Tears pricked the edges of his eyes but he shoved them back and glared fully at his brother. Nothing but anger. He wouldn’t let the Gryffindors see anything but anger. 

“Please. You started this by yelling at me. You’re the antagonist. Even when we were younger, I knew there was something wrong with you.”

_Something wrong with you._

“Stay away from me,” Virgil said. He had to work to keep his tone at a growl instead of a whisper. 

“Sure.” Roman smiled cruelly back. “Whatever you say, _Virgin._ ”

The two beaters burst out laughing and Virgil took off at a run, not sure where he was going, other than away from the boy he had spent 12 years of his life protecting. 

He was lying on his bed, curled toward the wall, and covered in his thickest blue blanket. This alone didn’t sit well with Logan- clearly, the conversation hadn't gone well, but until he had more evidence he couldn’t yet determine why or how. 

Then Virgil took a breath and every part of Logan froze. 

Two- no three. Three hours. That’s how long his friend had been crying while he had been in the Slytherin dorm playing chess with Janus. 

His finger clenched tightly at his sides and he had to take a breath to calm himself before he stepped forward and gently placed himself on the couch. Careful not to touch Virgil, Logan shifted slightly so he was fully facing the limp hiding under the blue blanket and softly said;

“Salutations.”

Virgil gave a dry laugh and it instantly made Logan want to try out the new dueling charm he had been taught on a certain Gryffindor. 

“Hey, L.”

“Would you find comfort in talking about it?” Logan paused, unsure. “Or would you prefer something else? A distraction, perhaps?”

The lump shifted. “Shouldn’t you know? You’re the genius.”

“I prefer not to use that word. It creates an “other” group. Genius and not genius. But,” Logan said hastily, “to your point, while I do know something is wrong and have a clue as to what, but hearing it from you would be different than seeing it myself.”

“Why.”

“Well, because you have a certain perspective and a certain way of talking that would be interesting to hear. Besides, in this situation, it doesn’t matter if I know or not. If you need to talk, I am certainly here for you.”

Virgil shifted. 

“But talking isn’t necessary,” Logan said gently. “Should you wish to do something else, I am more than happy to do so.”

When Virgil emerged from his blanket, Logan’s heart shattered into pieces. His eyes were red and puffy, with deep black circles underneath them. The normal black fringe had turned into a bird's nest upon his head and the black eyeliner he’d been trying out was smudged down his whole face. 

Virgil fell into Logan’s open arms and Logan clung to his trembling body in hopes that something, _anything_ might offer him a shred of comfort. 

“Can we make Halloween costumes?”

“Of course.” Logan wasn’t particularly fond of the candy part of Halloween, but costumes were incredibly fun both to design and wear. Besides, at the moment, Virgil could ask Logan to burn his favorite books and Logan would do it in heartbeat. “May I also be a dementor or would you prefer to be separate costumes? I have no preference.”

“We can both go as Dementors,” Virgil vibrated from Logan’s chest. “It’ll be a theme.”

Then Virgil reached up to fix his hair and Logan’s blood turned to ice.

This argument with Roman had been bad. Really bad. 

Virgil hadn’t bitten his nails since at least Christmas, possibly before. It had been a streak he was quite proud of and Logan always smiled when he noticed Virgil slapping his hand down or glaring at his fingers like they had personally offended him. 

Every single one of his fingers was bloody. His left thumb barely had half a nail left. 

“There’s medical supplies in my trunk,” Logan said softly. Somehow, the shaking red-hot rage he was feeling stayed locked in his chest and Logan had never been happier he knew how to stay monotone. “I’ll get those while you figure out how you want everything to look, okay?”

Virgil went very still. “I didn’t want to…” his eyes cast down and what was left of Logan’s heart drowned in the tear that slid down Virgil's face. “I tried so hard. I did.”

“I know,” Logan said gently. His eyes burned, but he elected to ignore them in turn for taking Virgil's hand in his own, careful not to brush against the wounds. “It’s perfectly alright. It’s just a relapse. Those are normal and recoverable.”

Virgil stayed silent. 

After gently bandaging Virgil's hands, Logan and him got down to work making their costumes. Together, they cut black fabric, fashioned thin gray gloves, and worked to make the dementors cloak flow as they walked- when suddenly Virgil broke down into large gasping tears. 

Logan was there instantly, pulling the Ravenclaw to his chest. He hummed gently, stroking up and down Virgil's back and reminding the boy to breathe every so often. 

“What’s wrong with me?” Virgil whimpered. 

Logan stopped breathing. 

That complete and utter _asshole-_

There was only one reason that question would come to Virgil's mind now. One reason, one singular reason and it made Logan want to throw things across the room. 

“Defining yourself by what your brother says is unhealthy,” Logan said softly, “because he’s an idiot. There is nothing wrong with you. You deserve love, you deserve happiness, you deserve peace. Right now, everything feels wrong because you’re under incredible amounts of anxiety. But it’ll get better. I promise.”

Virgil looked up at him. His heart rate, which had slowed, began to pick up again and Logan watched silently as his pupils dilated. 

Virgil was in love with him. 

Logan first thought debated whether or not to confess his own feelings to Virgil. Not now, obviously, but in soon future. He knew the feelings went both ways: there was no real reason not to. 

But… 

But Logan had been told his whole life that he was unfeeling. A robot. A computer. Things like love wouldn’t come naturally to him. And while Logan knew, of course, that this was factually incorrect he also was well aware of the fact that he still didn’t feel comfortable with love because of it. 

So even if he knew, factually, that he had a crush on Virgil and that Virgil liked him back, he also knew he wasn’t ready for that. 

And besides, Virgil clearly needed time to figure out his own life. Adding Logan in right now would be one too many things to juggle. 

So Logan tucked the information away for a rainy day and turned back to Virgil, who had crawled from his lap and towards the costumes. 

“Do you think a spell would make it look more swishy?”

Logan leaned forward. “We could certainly experiment.”


End file.
